“How’s college going?” Most students say “fine” or “busy”. Ask them again after a week and you often get a different answer. The assignments have stacked up, exams are coming, and your parents’ relatives keep asking about placements. Meanwhile someone in the class group has just shared their offer letter. Who wants to admit they’re not coping?
So nobody says anything, and that’s where it goes wrong. Colleges love to talk about marks, ranks and packages. They rarely talk about what chasing all of that costs students. I think that has to change, and looking after students’ feelings should be a normal part of education.
What students are dealing with
Mental health is basically how we think, feel and get through the day. A lot of people assume it means being cheerful all the time. It doesn’t, and nobody manages that anyway. Sad days and stressful weeks happen to everyone. What counts is whether you can make sense of what’s going on inside you, handle it somehow, and talk to someone when it gets too much.
Now think about a college student’s month. Exams, presentations, entrance tests, fees, what the family expects, a career that still looks like a blur, all of it at once. If you’ve moved to a new city, add homesickness and the odd night when the hostel feels very quiet. Then there’s social media, where everyone else always seems to be doing better.
It shows up differently in different people. One student goes quiet and stops coming to class. Another can’t focus, sleeps badly or loses interest in things they used to enjoy. Teachers and even friends often put this down to laziness. Most of the time that’s wrong.
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When competition goes too far
I’m not against competition. A bit of rivalry can get you to the library, and a sharp classmate can make you try harder. Trouble begins once a student uses marks to decide whether they’re worth anything.
Picture two students. The first fails a test and starts wondering whether they’re cut out for this at all, forgetting they’re brilliant at debate or coding or organising events. The second tops the class and still can’t relax, because all they can think about is losing that rank. Different results, same pressure, and both are struggling.
Marks say something about a student, but only something. They don’t show who’s good with people, who keeps going after a bad semester, or who’s simply slower to start and stronger at the finish.
What compassion looks like
Compassion keeps the exams and the deadlines. What changes is that students aren’t left to cope alone, and nobody gets judged for finding things hard.
On a compassionate campus, classmates cheer each other on instead of eyeing each other as rivals. Teachers make a big difference here. The ones students remember are usually the ones who listened, gave feedback without humiliating anyone, and said “good effort” when someone had clearly tried. Small things like that give a student the sense that they belong, and a student who belongs is far more likely to ask for help before things fall apart.
What colleges can do
Here are six places I’d start.
- Awareness sessions that don’t scare people. A talk on stress or exam pressure helps when it’s practical and ends on something hopeful. If students leave more anxious than they came, the session has failed.
- Real counselling. That means a trained counsellor, a private room and clear information on how to book. Students shouldn’t feel embarrassed about walking in.
- A classroom where people can speak up. Nobody should be laughed at for a wrong answer. Feedback can be honest and still leave a student’s confidence in one piece.
- Study habits. Time management, sensible goals, enough sleep, some exercise and time with friends sound basic, but many students never get taught them.
- Peer support groups. Student-led groups with trained staff keeping an eye on things are good for sharing, but they can’t stand in for professional help.
- Talking about it all year. One awareness day on the calendar won’t shift attitudes. Regular campaigns can show that asking for help is a sensible thing to do.
What teachers can do
Teachers do a lot besides finishing the syllabus. Think of a student who always answered questions and has suddenly gone silent, or who keeps missing class. A quiet word in private can mean more than any notice on the board. Skip the assumptions. Something like “I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet, is everything okay?” is enough, as long as the teacher then listens.
That said, teachers aren’t counsellors, and diagnosing anything is well outside their job. Their part is smaller: give first support, keep sensible boundaries and pass the student on to a professional. Colleges should train them for this, including how to talk to a struggling student and how to tell when someone needs more help than a chat can give.
What students can do
You can change the campus too. Before you compare your results with someone else’s, stop and think. A friend who has gone quiet? Check in on them. A joke that makes light of mental illness? Say something, even if it’s awkward.
Ask for help when you need it. Going to a trusted teacher, a counsellor, a family member or a doctor isn’t a failure, whatever anyone in your hostel says. Know your limits. Aim for goals you can actually reach, and count small progress, because it does count. Everyone moves at their own speed.
Final Thoughts
A college can turn out top scorers and well-placed graduates and still let its students down if they leave exhausted and ashamed of every setback. I’d like to see more people walk out confident, kind and aware of their own feelings.
Competition gets people moving, and compassion helps them keep going together. For that to happen, administrators, teachers, counsellors, parents and students all have a part to play, so that doing well is celebrated, failing isn’t something to hide, and asking for help is just normal.
Author
Ms.Vinita Sharma
Assistant Professor, Department of Education
Biyani Group of Colleges,Jaipur